Someting left to love
by LoveForWolvesXx
Summary: He had always been the popular one. Me, not so much. I was the loser really, people never understood why he bothered to be friends with me. I always had been okay with it. He was my friend, my best friend. To bad he had to find that out too.
1. How it ended

I wiped my tears away, _No use crying about things you can't change anymore_. I opened the toilet door and took a quick look in the mirror. _Ugh, I look like a total mess! _I splashed some water in my face and decided to go to the library. There was no point in sitting in the cafeteria anymore, I didn't felt like sitting alone.

My best friend had officially ditched me.

He had missed school for two weeks, didn't call me and wouldn't answer any of my calls. Then yesterday I found him hanging out with Sam Uley. He had changed, a lot, his hair was cut short and he was taller and more buff, his entire attire screamed danger, even more than normal, he always had been a hothead. Normally that wouldn't scare me off, and it didn't yesterday, but he didn't acknowledged me.

I knew for sure he had seen me, it was as if I didn't exist for him.

_Not that it ever made any sense that he was friends with me anyway_, the rational part of my brain told me once again.

He had always been the popular one, dating all the 'hot' girls as he liked to put it, he was a player really. That bothered me more than anything, I wondered what girl he hadn't slept with. It hurt me. I loved him, always did, but I never dared to tell him. Maybe because how he only would look for a good night and then be done with it. But most of all I was scared of his reaction, what if he left me? _He did that without you telling him anyway_, I told myself.

Days that he would spent with his 'girls' I would sit in the library alone. It was quiet and peaceful.

Like me, as he once told me.

I was the loser, always had been. People never understood why he was friends with me, he could get so much better. But it was like he didn't care, he was sweet to me, stood up for me and most importantly of all he was my best friend for as long as I remembered. I saw him for what he really was, or what I had thought he had been. _Obviously I couldn't be more wrong._

Today he came back from his 'two weeks of absence'. Of course I was angry, I mean he hadn't called me once, I had been worried. I actually was ready to confront him for the first time in my life, so I did.

I had walked up to him, the Paul Reid, the one everyone looked up to, not really caring about the 'new friends' he was with.

I should have known better.

**- Flashback**

**I marched right up to him, my usual shyness completely forgotten, "What the fuck is your problem" I yelled at him. (yes, you heard it right, I, Lily Allery, had cussed).**

**He looked shocked, and a little part of me took pleasure out of that fact. **

"**Why haven't you answered any of my calls, I was worried sick" this sentence however didn't come out as confident, my anger was replaced by fear when I took in his expression. **

**His face, nothing like the gentle one I once knew, was stone cold and his jaw set. I flinched back. "Paul?" I whispered. **

**He didn't look me in the eye, this was what was scaring me mostly, normally his eyes would show me the truth, and they would tell me how everything would be alright. **

**Slowly he opened his mouth, "Call you?" he sneered "Why would I? I have nothing to tell you" I took a step back, hurting, why would he say that to me. **

**He still wouldn't look me in the eye, and I hoped he wasn't saying what I thought he was telling me.. **

"**What do you mean!" I screamed "What you finally found out I wasn't good enough for you? Little late don't you think!" I took a deep breath and tried to push my upcoming tears away "Maybe you should have told me that all those years ago, then maybe I would have had somebody to go to now" **

"**What has gotten into you Paul?" I whispered my eyes tearing up. **

**His eyes seemed to soften for a second before hardening. **

"**Life" he told me "are you done now?" he said while lifting his gaze, to look me in the eye for the first time, when our eyes met, he froze. **

**My emotions finally got a hold on me "I should have stayed away when I still could" I whispered to him, then I turned and ran. Tears streaming freely down my face. His eyes hunting me, they had held noting, no remorse, no lies, no nothing. **_**Guess life did catch up with him, I knew it was too good to be true. **_**That moment right there I could feel my heart and with it my hope shattering in a million little pieces.**

- Now

I opened the door to the hallway and walked towards the library. However I walked straight into somebody.

My face immediately flushed "I'm sorry" I muttered. Looking up I saw Jared standing there, _One of Sam Uley's groupies. _

I quickly looked down again, trying to hide the fact that my face was tear stained and tried to walk around him.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, I stopped to look at his face to see whether he was kidding or not. He looked genuine. _Don't trust him._ My brain told me.

A lonely tear trickled down my face, _Traitors,_ "Why would you care" I tried to walk away but he stopped me.

"Look, he didn't mean what he said outside, he really cares about you, we can see that" Jared said.

"Well it's a little late for that now don't you think?" I asked him my voice breaking and tears falling again. _Here we go again, I just got myself together!_

"But you can tell your precious Sam he can be proud, he finally did it didn't he." I told him "Why couldn't you all just leave him alone" I said before running out of the building. My plan of going to the library the last thing on my mind now.

I really didn't wanted to stay at school anymore, so I decided to leave.

_Well, that's a first isn't it._

Paul had tried a hundred times to get me to ditch class with him, saying it was healthy to ditch a couple classes, but I never wanted too. _To afraid to get into trouble. _I felt a humourless smile forming on my face. _Why is it I come out of my shell after losing him._

I got into my car and drove out of the parking lot.

_Where to go now? _


	2. Everything is such a mess

Instead of going home like I was planning on, I went to First beach. I loved the smell of the sea and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks.

I sighed _So peaceful._

I sat down on top of the cliff we always used to jump off, but in this weather nobody would come up here. I sat like this for a while. When my thoughts started to drift.

I started thinking about my parents, I missed them still so much, they both had been in a car crash last year.

They didn't survive.

People wanted me to go to a foster home after that, but I didn't wanted to leave the rest of my life behind. Since I was old enough to stay on my own, so that's exactly what I did.

A lot of people didn't approve, but it was my decision to make and to be honest I couldn't care less.

My parents left me a lot of money, but it felt so wrong to use it. So I worked for a bit, the elders helped me out and of course Alicia. She fussed over me every time she saw me, it was sweet really. You could see why my mother had been best friends with her, they were so much alike. I only used the money when I really needed it.

I never had a lot of friends, but Paul was my friend for a long time, he helped me out after my parents died. Stayed with me when I needed him. He was my rock.

_And of course you had to fall for him_

I smiled a sad smile,

_I know somebody that saw that one coming._

**- Flashback**

"**Honey, come inside for a minute!" my mother yelled from inside the house. **

**I was currently reading a book on the grass. "Coming!" I answered her. **

**I ran inside and saw Paul and his mother standing there, I gave them both a hug and smiled up at my mom, "are they staying for dinner?" she nodded her head, a thoughtful look crossing her face "Why don't you and Paul go do something together, then Alicia an me will finish dinner together" I smiled. **

"**When does dad come home?" **

"**He will be here any minute, now go" and she playfully shoved me and Paul out of the kitchen "We have work to finish" **

**I laughed at her silly antics and looked over at Paul "What do you want to do?" **

**He smirked "what were you doing before I came in?" I blushed "Reading" **

"**I already thought so, well don't stop for me" he told me "I'll just watch" he pushed my book in my hands after looking at the cover first. **

"**Pride and Prejudice?" he wrinkled his nose, I smiled, it looked adorable "Please tell me it's not that romantic crap you always read"**

**I playfully hit him "It's not crap, it's nice. Which you would know if you tried it sometime". He smirked, closed his eyes and laid down on the grass. **

**I stood up "Where are you going?" he asked me. **

**I laughed "To get your lazy ass something to drink" and walked towards the kitchen. **

**Before I opened it I heard whispering coming from inside. **

"**I'm telling you, these two will be such a nice couple" I heard Alicia, Paul's mom say. I halted near the door and listened, "I think Lily is in love with him" My mom whispered "She just doesn't realize it". **

**I tried to scream when someone placed his hand on my mouth, but it was muffled by the hand. I relaxed when I noticed it was my father's hand. **

**He was grinning "It's rude to listen in on other peoples conversations princess" he told me. I smiled and hugged my father. Just then my mother yelled "Dinners ready!"**

- Now

_That was a week before they_ _died _I thought grimly _How can life be so cruel sometimes. _When the memory faded away, I was surprised to find out I sat like this almost the entire day. The sun was already starting to go down. My muscles were sore from sitting in the same position that long. I stood up and stretched myself.

I debated with myself what I was going to do now.

_Might as well go there now, _I decided. So I walked back to my car and drove it to the one place I dreaded to go.

I slowly walked to my parents grave, they were buried right next to each other.

_They would've wanted that. _

My parents always had been the lovey dovey type. Even after twenty years of marriage it never faded. I loved them for it.

I stopped in front of their gravestones and sat down, just watching and absorbing for a while.

"Hey mom and dad" I finally whispered "How are you guys doing up there".

Tears were gathering in my eyes "I miss you so much" I told them.

"Everything is such a mess" I sobbed.

I completely broke down, I don't know for how long I sat there but at a certain point it had become dark outside. I still hadn't stopped crying.

All of a sudden I felt someone gently lay a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Alicia standing there holding her hand out for me to take, "Come on sweetheart, let's get you home"

I looked at her hand and slowly took it, she quickly pulled me in for a hug "It'll get better honey" she told me, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

I was silent for a while, just content to be in her arms "but it hurts so much" I said.

She smiled sadly at me "I know, honey, I know"

After a while we started walking towards her car, I hadn't noticed all the other people that were there until now. Sam Uley, Jared, Embry, Jacob, Quil, Seth, Leah, Paul, the elders and some people I didn't recognized. I quickly looked down, I didn't wanted to see their pitiful looks.

When she got me in her car we sat there for a while, Alicia still holding me.

"We were so worried" she finally told me "I couldn't find you anywhere, we have been searching everywhere".

"I was up at the cliffs, and then came to the cemetery" I told her.

She sighed, and we were quiet again for a while

"Listen, I don't know what happened between Paul and you, but please don't ever do this again. Whatever he said, he must have had a reason for it. He would never hurt you on purpose. You know better than that Lils" she kissed my forehead.

"Now close your eyes and try to get some sleep. Paul will take your car back home"

She started the car.

I hadn't noticed how tired I really was. This day had emotionally drained me.

I closed my eyes and welcomed sleep to take me away to a safer place.


	3. Sorting it all out

I stretched myself and opened my eyes slowly. _Where am I? _I questioned myself when I remembered.

_Oh crap, I can't be here. He doesn't want me to be here. _I quickly got out of bed and looked around, _No, no, no, I'm even in his room._

I looked at what I was wearing and found myself in his clothes.

_They smell so good, _I thought before slapping myself in my face _Not good to think about! _I scolded myself.

_Okay girl, think, where would your clothes be. _I searched around for my clothes a bit when I heard a chuckle.

I closed my eyes, _Please let him not be in the room, please, please, please. _Obviously god didn't listen.

"You should see yourself right now Lills" He said still chuckling "here are your clothes"

I still didn't open my eyes "Thanks" I murmured my voice breaking a bit.

He sighed "Open your eyes Lills"

I shook my head no.

"Come on, I don't bite" he said and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I blushed but still didn't open my eyes.

He gently grabbed my chin and made me look, in what I assume was, his way.

"Please, for me?" He asked and I felt his warm breath on my face.

I melted, _He smells sooo good, _and slowly opened my eyes for him.

"See" he crooned "That's much better" his face was inches from mine and I started to feel more nervous than I already was.

I suddenly remember what he had said to me the day before and traitorous tears started to form in my eyes.

He immediately pulled me in for a hug "Shit" he breathed "I'm so sorry lills" he said.

"I really thought it was for the best, we didn't think I would ..." he stopped talking abruptly. I was silent for a while, absorbing his words.

"What do you mean we?"

"And would what Paul?" I asked "You're not making any sense" my voice sounded finally a bit stronger.

I pushed him away "What are you not telling me?"

He tried to tell me, I could see that much.

I had never seen Paul so at loss for words. Finally he looked up "Why can't you just let it go?" he said shaking slightly.

_Is he angry? _"Are you seriously angry at me?"

"Just let it go" he yelled

I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom. I got put them on real quickly and went downstairs.

I didn't see Alicia anywhere, my eyes fell on a note taped on the fridge.

**I'm off to work, I'll be back at eight.**

**There's food in the fridge if you're hungry.**

**Take care,**

**Love**

I sighed, grabbed the note, turned it around and scribbled something down for her.

**Alicia, **

**Don't worry I just went home, **

**Thank you for yesterday...**

I taped it back on the fridge, hopefully she wouldn't worry much. I remembered that Paul took my car back. _Where's the key? _I thought.

"Looking for this?" Paul asked looking smug and holding the key in his hands out of my reach.

_Mood swings much? And when did he get so freakishly tall!_

"Give me my keys Paul"

"Then just talk to me" he answered, at this moment I just wanted to wipe the smug look of his face.

"You are the one that stopped talking!" I yelled at him "You had nothing to tell, wasn't it? I'm not a puppet you can use like the girls you date!" I huffed

"If you can even call it dating".

"Jealous?" he asked smirking.

I screamed in frustration "I'm going home" I told him. He stepped in front of the doorway again.

"No you're not Lills" he said "I promise you, you'll find out soon. Please, please just trust me" he looked lost,

I looked him into his eyes and sighed "Promise?" I asked, my voice small.

"I promise" he said, pulling me in for a hug sounding relieved.

We stood like that for a while until his big mouth had to ruin the moment. "You know, you're really cute when you're angry"

I had to laugh at him "Your nuts" I told him.

Just then a howl cut through the air and Paul stiffened "I have to go" he told me all of a sudden "I'm sorry" he told me and kissed me on top of my head.

Then he just walked out of the house and into the woods.

I shook my head. _That explanation better has to be a good one._

I decided to go home and just freshen up a bit, this two days had been absolutely crazy and I really didn't know how I was still walking.

I looked for my key when I realized Paul took it with him. I sighed, _Well, it seems I'm walking home. _

I walked out of the house and locked the door behind me. Then I started walking home.

I was glad La Push wasn't that big but it still wasn't a short walk. I was annoyed for having to walk, but a part of me enjoyed it. The scenery was absolutely beautiful. It held a certain bit of magic, mysterious even, just like the tribe legends.

My parents used to tell them every night before I went to bed. I particularly loved the story about the third wife. It was a nice thought, the existence of soul mates.

When I was young I always believed the stories were real, or maybe I just hoped they were. Something to hold on to.

If they did exist I knew for certain my parents had been soul mates. The fit perfectly, they were perfect for each other in every single way. I smiled at that.

I looked up, I already was home.

_What is it with me and memories these days._

I opened the door and let myself in, walking into the living room I let myself fall down on the couch.

"I'm so freaking tired, thank god it's weekend" I muttered to myself.

I knew one thing for sure, I had some things to sort out.

* * *

><p>In my story Paul phases after Quil,<p>

That's because Lily was keeping him to happy to phase.

Just wanted to make that clear =)

Thanks for the positive reviews!

Love you guys,

Xx Iris


	4. Whiplashes and sweet kisses

I lay on the couch for a while before standing up to grab myself some food. I actually was pretty hungry, so instead of eating my normal cereal breakfast I baked myself some pancakes. My mom's recipe to be exactly. We used to eat them every Sunday. They were my favourite. I smiled a genuine and turned the radio on.

Just then Adele's 'someone like you' was playing.

**Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.  
>I wish nothing but the best for you too.<br>Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"<br>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.**

I began singing along with it for the first time since my parents died.

**You'd know how the time flies.  
>Only yesterday was the time of our lives.<br>We were born and raised in a summery haze.  
>Bound by the surprise of our glory days.<strong>

**I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,  
>But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.<br>I hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,  
>That for me, it isn't over yet.<strong>

**Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.  
>I wish nothing but the best for you too.<br>Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.<strong>

**Nothing compares, no worries or cares.  
>Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.<br>Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?**

**Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.  
>I wish nothing but the best for you too.<br>Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"<strong>

**Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.  
>I wish nothing but the best for you too.<br>Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:  
>"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"<br>Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.**

The song ended and I felt lighter somehow. I giggled when I saw that I had burned the pancake. _You always forget everything around you when you sing. _I scolded myself jokingly. I threw it away and made some more that I didn't burn.

I heard a sound from outside, it was my only warning before the door was flung open and Paul strolled in. He looked around and when his eyes found mine they lit up. He walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug.

"Lills" he breathed, I just stood there open mouthed.

_He has no shirt on! God does he want to kill me. _

"Uhm" I mumbled awkwardly "Where have you been?"

He tensed, I sighed _Well, here we go again. _

"Never mind" I told him, small tears forming in my eyes.

I put the pancakes on the table, it was enough to distract him. I hadn't forgotten about the fact that he had left me to myself these weeks and him being here made my insecurities even bigger.

"Just grab some pancakes I'll be right back" I told him before walking towards my bedroom.

_It just doesn't make sense, why is he here right now? _I thought and quickly wiped my tears away. _Maybe this is just some stupid joke... _More tears found their way into my eyes.

_No Alicia said he really cares, didn't she? She wouldn't lie to me _I really had to stop these conversations with myself. _People will think you're nuts._

I snorted at the thought and looked in the mirror _My face could've been worse _I thought before shrugging it off and walking back to the kitchen.

I looked wide eyes at Paul when I noticed all of the pancakes were gone.

"Did you just ate them all?" I asked perplexed "I was gone for like 5 minutes"

He cracked a smile, I caught side of this bare chest again. _Oh My God, he's gourgeous._ I thought _Oh but I already knew that _Thinking back to the day we went cliff diving together, I blushed thinking back to that day. _However he definitely got more muscles than before! _I concluded.

"You seeing something you like?" Paul asked sounding smug.

My cheeks flamed and I dug my head, quickly grabbing a bowl for my cereal, since Paul ate my pancakes. He just caught me checking him out. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Paul chuckled, he grabbed me from behind and pulled me in his lap.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you Lills" he told me, humour obvious in his voice.

My cheeks were still burning with embarrassment.

"Sure" I mumbled. He laughed a full belly laugh at that, that made me smile a bit.

I peeked through my hair to see his face, he was smirking. _I totally knew. _

My stomach rumbled, I tried to stand up but he held me down.

"I don't want to let you go" he whined.

I rolled my eyes "Get over yourself" I told him "Big baby" I muttered quietly while walking towards the fridge.

He grabbed me again "What was that" he breathed down my neck.

I shivered "What do you mean" I said, my voice sounding hoarse from the emotions running through my body.

He turned me around and pushed my back into the fridge.

"What did you call me Lills" his breath washed over my face. _Oh god this feels so good!_

My thoughts were all jumbled up as currently his body was pressed up against mine.

"Lills" he crooned. Inch by inch his face slowly came closer to mine.

He leaned down keeping one arm around my waist and the other to cup my neck. Then he kissed me softly, he pulled back to look at me, his eyes questioning whether it was alright or not, I nodded not able to form a coherent sentence at the moment. He leaned down again and nibbled on my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I opened my mouth for him and he slid his tongue into my mouth effectively deepening the kiss.I moaned. I had both arms around his neck and he pressed me harder against the fridge his hands finding my thighs and pulling me closer to him. He broke the kiss and pulled back, I didn´t realize I needed the air. His eyes were pitch black and I shivered. He then pecked my lips in a affectionate but at the same time fierce manner.

Kissing Paul was amazing. I had wanted this for such a long time but never really dared too. His kiss was soft and rough at the same time, just like Paul. His breath washed over my face as I tried to catch my breath and calm my erratic heart down.

He chuckled "Your heart is going crazy right now"

I nodded unable to find my voice.

_Why now? _The rational part of my brain screamed at me _Why now and not all those weeks before? _I couldn't help but feel insecure about this.

Paul put his finger under my chin, lifting it up "You okay?"

I knew he could see the doubt in my eyes right now.

"Is this real?" I asked him, the insecurity clearly noticeable.

He smiled at me "as real as you want it to be, Lills"

"So I'm not just another girl to you?"

He gave me an weird look before he began to shake lightly "why would you think that?" I could see he was getting angry.

"Don't get mad" I begged "You and I both know how you treat girls normally, I just don't want to get hurt" I sighed when he didn't look at me "I already got hurt enough in the past" I whispered.

He walked away from me "You know nothing about anything Lilly!" he jelled.

"Then why don't you tell me" I jelled back, my anger flaring.

"Because you won't understand a flying fuck about it, the world fucking ain't that perfect as you think"

"You think I think that after my parents died? That it was easy for me? But of course, I don't know how hard the world is. Is that what you think of me? Just some stupid girl that doesn't see what's in the shadows? At least I still try to laugh and see the good in things! Really, you give me a freaking whiplash with your mood swings Paul!" I was proud that my voice had sounded angry, I actually wanted to go sit in a corner and sob. _How can he think that? _what he said really hurt me.

He sobered up after that a look of shame on his face.

There was an awkward silence.

"I shouldn't have said that" he said breaking it.

I didn't answer.

"You're nothing like those girls, you're real" he whispered "and you deserve so much more than me. I just keep hurting you"

I turned around and pulled him in for a hug. I winced at the pained look on his face.

"you do deserve me Paul. You're the only one I want, but I want the truth Paul. No more hiding" I told him.

He still looked a bit pained but then smirked, _Well, look who's back, _I thought relieved.

"You're gonna regret saying that" he said and placed a sweet peck on my lips.

"But for now" he paused and pouted "you want to come to a bonfire with me tonight?"

I smiled at his childish antics "I would love to"

* * *

><p>Hey everyone,<p>

I'm sorry for the late update. But I'm in my last year at school and I was finishing my exams.

I only have two left now,

Enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think!

xxx


	5. Doubts

Paul left a couple hours before saying he would pick me up at eight. I actually was really nervous. I didn't know much about everyone that was supposed to be there, but I was afraid they wouldn't like me. However I was demined to not let it show, I was done being the shy girl that was picked on every day.

The time alone also gave me the opportunity to think things through. Paul had kissed me! sure I was ecstatic but I was also afraid it was all some kind of joke. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he would pick me, instead all of those other pretty, well as far as make up smeared faces can be pretty, girls that where throwing themselves at him. Sure, I knew I wasn't ugly. But still... I wasn't that pretty. I was a nothing. And Paul had always preferred the other girls. It didn't exactly make me feel better about myself.

I looked at the pile of clothes on my bed and decided to go for casual. Skinny jeans with a long sleeved t-shirt. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and looked into the mirror.

Paul told me that they would tell the legends at the bonfire tonight. I had never been to such a bonfire before. Sure I was a full blood Quileute, but I preferred my parents telling the legends to me. It was the first time since their death that I would hear them again. I just hoped I wouldn't burst into tears at the bonfire. That would be awkward.

I looked at my appearance in the mirror again and decided I did look okay. I walked downstairs and sat down on the couch. I felt my thoughts drifting once again off to Paul. He still was hiding something from me, it made me sad and angry at the same time. Didn't he trust me?

I had always been silent about things I was angry about. My dad always told me I shouldn't keep things bottled up that much and to let it out sometimes. I found that in singing mostly, but he believed I would burst, his words not mine, one time. I saw my camera and wondered if I should take it with me or not.

I decided against it, most people don't like it when people take pictures of them. And since they were Pauls friends I didn't wanted them to dislike me.

I sat down on the couch for a whule lost in thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. I looked at the time. It was a few minutes before eight. _Paul._

I quickly ran to the door to open it, almost tripping over my own feet. I opened the door and was met by the, beautifull, brown orbs that were Pauls. _I did sound like a stalker._

"Hi" I said, sounding a little out of breath. I just hoped he didn't notice.

He smirked. _Of course he does. _"Did you just trip to get to the door?"

_Holy crow how did he know that?_

I felt my cheeks redden, "No" I stated.

His smirk grow bigger "Sure you didn't Lills" he winked "You ready to go?"

I nodded, glad he changed the topic.

He grabbed my hand and we walked over to his car. The ride to the beach was short and silent, and I wondered what had gotten him so quiet. I looked at him. He was frowning like he was thinking very hard about something.

A small smile spread over my face, he looked so cute.

His frown deepened and a giggle escaped from my lips. That shook him out of it and his gaze landed on me "What's so funny?" he asked.

I smiled "Nothing"

His frown came back and I burst into laughter, not able to contain myself.

He gave me a look that told me he probably thought I had gone mad, he got out of the car and opened my door for me, annoyance and amusement colouring his handsome features.

I made no move to get out of the car, still laughing.

"Are you coming out of the car yourself or do you need some help"

I ignored him as my entire body shook with laughter and I clutched my sides.

He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder, locking the car he went to walk towards the bonfire.

I stilled immediately "Paul!" I shrieked "Put me down"

He, however, didn't listen.

"Let me down you big oaf!" I yelled at him.

He held me tighter and continued walking.

"That's what you get for laughing at me" he said I could practically feel the smugness radiating from him.

I tried to hit him but he grabbed my hand before it could reach its target.

"Ut ah" he said "Not so fast" _Shit, that was hot. Whoa! Where did that come from._

"Paaaaaul" I whined and pouted "PLEASE put me down"

I saw him glance up at me and his eyes shone with amusement "You're not getting of that easy"

I clearly could see the bonfire and the people around it now. My insecurities came back again.

"Paul" I whispered "people already think I'm a loser enough, please put me down" my voice broke at the word loser.

I never told Paul how his 'girlfriends' and other students treated me when he wasn't near me, and I found it hard to believe he never noticed it. I only realized what words had come out of my mouth after they had left my mouth.

He stilled and put me down in an instant the amusement gone from his eyes. I missed his heat immediately.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he said as his body began to shake lightly "who told you that?"

_Is he angry at me? _I questioned myself. But my thoughts where erupted when Paul shook me.

"Why would you say such thing" he asked. _Yup, definitely anger._

I became a bit angry myself _why would he be mad at me for others saying that to me? I sure as hell couldn't help it. _

"Just drop it, okay? Not everyone can be as popular as you at school"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he yelled as his shaking got worse.

I took a step back, Paul had never raised his voice at me before. "It's hard to miss Paul, don't tell me you never noticed how your 'girls' treat me. I'm nothing to them, as I am not to the rest of the school. You can't be that thick!"

_Whoah! When did I grow a backbone?_

However, backbone or not, traitorous tears were making its way to my eyes.

He growled, _yes, you heard it right he actually growled at me. _"You're acting stupid Lilly".

"Are you calling me a liar?" I said perplexed. "after all these years, you think I'm lying to you?"my voice broke.

I shook my head _It really only was a fairytale, wasn't it? I knew he didn't feel anything for me at all._

"Never mind Paul. Just leave me alone"

I turned around, only to found out we were much closer to the bonfire than I had thought. Everybody was looking our way, _Great, they have heard. _

I turned around again to see Paul disappearing into the woods. My tears began to flow freely and I began to walk back the way we came. No way I was actually going to the bonfire now.

I didn't get really far before I felt somebody lay a hand on my shoulder. I looked up.

It was Emily, Sam's fiancé.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her voice comforting.

I shook my head and began sobbing, she caught me before I fell and sat down with me in the sand, her arms wound around me tightly.

It was oddly comforting, I hadn't felt such a embrace for a long time. It made me only cry harder.

"Shhh" she said "It'll be alright"

"He'll come back"

I didn't cared that I was in the arms of a total stranger, at the moment I needed the comforting more than everything. So we just sat there in the sand for a while until my crying finally stopped.

My eyes became heavy, and while she still held me I fell asleep. Thinking about how grateful I was she was there for me at this moment.


	6. Tears and confessions

I'm so sorry for not updating in such a long time! I feel really guilty and there is absolutely no excuse. I kept postponing updating but I'm promising right now that I'm gonna try to update at least once a week!

Again, I'm really sorry and I hope you'll all forgive me!

Xx

* * *

><p>I woke up in a room I didn't recognize<p>

_Great, what have I gotten myself into now..._

I tried to get up but felt something heavy weighting down on me.

_What the – _My thoughts were cut off when I realized it was Paul's arm. He was still asleep his arm over my stomach holding my body to his. A short smile graced my lips until I remembered what had happened the evening before. We sure did fight a lot these days. We never used to. I moved his arm and silently left the room. _Whose house was this?_

I heard voices coming from downstairs, I followed the sounds and they led me to a kitchen, Emily was cooking and Sam and every single one of his 'followers' were sitting at the table and currently staring at me. I flushed bright red.

"Uhm... I" I stumbled over my words. Emily came to my rescue

"Stop staring at the poor girl, you're making her feel uncomfortable" she then turned to me "Moring Lilly, are you hungry? I saved some breakfast for you before they ate all" I gave her a small genuine smile and nodded.

She turned to grab a plate for me and handed it to me "Here you go, just sit down, the guys will make room for you" she shot them a pointed look. This was just uncomfortable, I sat down and ate in silence not meeting anybody's eyes but I could feel their stares. Paul came down the stairs when I had just finished my food. The breath I was holding rushed out of my lungs.

"I should go" I stated, I hurriedly got up. A hand shot up halting my movements. It was Sam. I frowned.

"Just sit down for a while, we don't bite"

I snorted "Sure, Last time I checked, you hurt me pretty bad a few days ago by taking my best friend" I wrenched my arm away from his grip and moved away from him. Where my new found confidence was coming from I had no idea but I wasn't complaining.

"Thank you for yesterday Emily and for breakfast" I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Just stop by whenever you feel like it hun, I'm here for you if you, even if you just want somebody to talk to" she whispered in my ear. I started walking out of the door when I turned at looked up at Paul, his expression was pained. I halted, I hated seeing him like this. But I couldn't dismiss the fact that he had hurt me and that I knew he wasn't telling me the truth. My eyes filled with tears.

He hesitated and then walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder, our bodies fit together perfectly. I sniffled and he tightened his hold.

"I'm so sorry" His voice broke, I looked up at him and I saw that his eyes were filled with tears.

In all this time that I knew him, that I had been friends with him, I had never ever seen him cry. It broke me to see him like this. I brought my hand up to his cheek. My hand shook.

"I swear, Lilly, I never knew how they treated you. It seems that lately all I can do is screw up, but please don't –" he swallowed, one tear escaping his eye "please don't leave like this"

I wiped the tear on his cheek away

"I couldn't" I told him "not even if I wanted to Paul"

I swallowed, I couldn't believe I was going to say this.

"Because I love you" His eyes snapped up to mine, they were burning with something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

His hand touched my cheek as his face closed in on mine. He kissed me gently on my lips. He pulled back and looked "do you know how long I have waited for you to say those words, god Lills, I love you so much" his face closed in on mine again and his hand went down and settled on my hip. My insides felt all mushy as he continued to kiss me. I felt the tip of his tongue touch my lips and I opened them up.

Somebody cleared their throat. I jumped back, my cheeks flaming. Almost everybody stood in the door opening watching us with smiles on their faces. Paul chuckled and pulled me back embracing me. I sighed. Content in his arms.

"We still need to talk" I stated quietly.

Paul chuckled again "You never knew how to give up" he said "but you're right"

He pecked my lips again before telling everyone goodbye lifting me up and walking away.

"Call me!" I heard Emily yell before we disappeared around the corner.


End file.
